How To Stops Dogs Crapping All Over The Place.

In this stupid country, we affix signs to lamp posts saying things like “It is illegal to foul the footpath. Maximum penalty £300.” How is this supposed to stop a dog crapping all over the place?

My wife was in San Francisco, the gay capital of the world, recently and photographed this.

 

This is much better. Any sensible dog seeing this sign will neither shit nor piss in the immediate vicinity but will probably walk along for a block and then have a fullsome dump.

Rabbie Burns. Ach.

Tis 250 years since the man’s wee birth. Here’s a tribute to his fine poetry. Better if you listen to the narrator, Alam Cumming.

Happy Families

If I had a perfect family, I would naturally buy them a 24 pack of Duracell AA batteries.

More Irish Pork.

Instead of taking his ham back to the shop, Mr O. threw it in the bin so he won’t be able to get a refund. His choice now is to either get a new one or to retrieve the original. My choice is more stark. Do I eat the ham while I’m over there for Christmas?

Fantastic News

Irish Pork is alright, as can be seen in this photo of an Irish pig.

It can’t be bought at B&Q, although Christmas trees can.

Food body says ‘avoid Irish pork’

From the BBC.

For years my wife has gone on and on and on and on and on and on and on about how “superior” Irish “sausages” are to The Great British Banger. Even when tantalising her tastebuds with a sausage casserole made with fine Waitrose Free Range Chipolatas she’d still maintain that Denny’s “Gold Medal” were better.

And then there’s ham and bacon. While feeding her delightful platefulls of Wiltshire ham and top quality prime Duchy bacon she’d insist that Irish was best. She’d say “Oi want de Oirish rashers. Roigh?”

So a food body says avoid Irish pork? I’ve been saying it for ages….

Look at how the British porker in the photo below looks happy, intelligent and tasty. The Irish pig looks downcast and has a black eye.

pigs

A Snatch of Britney Spears.

For the first time in years we in Britain get a chance to see a snatch of Britney Spears, appearing on the X Factor. I can’t wait. It was quite foggy this morning.

Helmet.

Today my wife bought a coal helmet from B&Q. They also sell B&Q Christmas Trees there as well. I had no choice but to pretend to be a German.

BTW. It’s a skin complaint, alright?

Passion.

I’m not sure whether to post this here or on my sister’s site. I’ll go for here.

Clicking on the following links got me to the Cafe Bar menu on the National Express East Coast Web Site. It’s always interesting to know what goodies you’ll get if you travel by train or what goodies other people are eating on trains.

Here are the links (I had to click on all of them, so I don’t see why you shouldn’t.)

http://www.nationalrail.co.uk/
http://www.nationalrail.co.uk/tocs_maps/
http://www.nationalrail.co.uk/tocs_maps/tocs/
http://www.nationalrail.co.uk/tocs_maps/tocs/gr/details.html
http://www.nationalexpresseastcoast.com/
http://www.nationalexpresseastcoast.com/On-Board-Our-Trains/
http://www.nationalexpresseastcoast.com/On-Board-Our-Trains/Food1/CafeBar/

Of particular interest is the following:

 

You what?

Twat.