My wife’s brief fling with Donovan

My wife had a brief fling with world famous cabaret performer Donovan at Cork Airport today. He’s world famous for being the man that failed to slap a world wide patent on calling pop stars by just their Christian name. Anyway, my wife smiled at him, thinking she knew him and he stared right through her. Like some sort of shiny Superpowered non entity. SunshineSuperNonent. Come on Donovan! Smile when people are nice to you! Give it a go! (Unless you’ve got toothache, in which case you can be as horrible as you like, excluding hate crime, racism, sexism and genocide, and other things of that ilk.)

Or, is my wife telling the truth? Should I force her onto the Jeremy Kyle Show for a lie detector test?

Kyle. (to my wife) “When asked did you have sexual relations with Donovan? you replied no.”
Kyle. (to me) “Well, well, well.”
Kyle. (to my wife) “You passed.”
Kyle. (to me) “Well go on then. Apologise! I’d be down on my hands and knees if I were you! Grow a pair, put a hat on it and Shut Up! It says the JEREMY Kyle show and stop calling me Jerry!”
Me. (to Jerry) “I was just asking if she’d actually bumped into Donovan at the airport. You’re the one that brought sexual relations into it.”
Kyle. (to my wife) “Okay, then. When asked did you bump into Donovan? you replied yes.”
Kyle. (to me) “Well, well, well.”
Kyle. (to my wife) “You passed.”
Kyle. (to me) “Well go on then. Apologise! I’d be down on my hands and knees if I were you! Grow a pair, put a hat on it and Shut Up! It says the JEREMY Kyle show and stop calling me Jerry!”
Me. (to my wife and Jerry) “I’m sorry. Actually, I wanted a word with Graham. My wife won’t let me have a beard. I just wondered how he got away with it.”

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3 Responses to My wife’s brief fling with Donovan

  1. Mary says:

    You’d wonder why I go to Cork so often!!!

  2. Morrisey says:

    Nevermind your so called “wife” and Donovan, you had a calf killed because you wanted to eat it’s face and then you chickened out you murderer!!!!!!

    We know where you live, expect a parcel in the post soon, finish what you start, fascist!

    A.L.F. (St Valery sur Somme Chapter)

  3. Nitwit says:

    I don’t think Jason Donovan has got a beard, let alone appeared on the Jeremy Clarkson Show.

    I went to France the other day and had Tete de Sperm Whale. There. What are you going to do about that then ALF Somme chapter! I think I’m turning Japanese. I really think so.

    Have you ever listened to New York New York by Kris Kristofferson? Me neither.

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