How To Stops Dogs Crapping All Over The Place.

In this stupid country, we affix signs to lamp posts saying things like “It is illegal to foul the footpath. Maximum penalty £300.” How is this supposed to stop a dog crapping all over the place?

My wife was in San Francisco, the gay capital of the world, recently and photographed this.

Dog Sign


This is much better. Any sensible dog seeing this sign will neither shit nor piss in the immediate vicinity but will probably walk along for a block and then have a fullsome dump.

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7 Responses to How To Stops Dogs Crapping All Over The Place.

  1. Mary says:

    Isn’t that a beautiful photo Matt. We should get such a sign for our garden

  2. Julian Clary says:

    And you were with your “wife” in SF weren’t you? Stop being in denial,come out of the closet and bring your Judy Garland CD collection with you!

  3. Nigella Lawson says:

    I think Julian is quite right. I might be a great big fat ugly old cow. But then I am a multi millionaire who doesnt live my life as a lie….

  4. Peter Mandelson says:

    Come on Julian and Nigella, it’s not that easy coming out at his age! Anyway Matt, I know you bat for the other side (The Tories that is, ROTFL) ; – ) So here’s a link that might help you ease in LOL ; – )
    We’re having a cocktails ‘n’ cottaging evening next Friday with the House of Lords, you’re welcome to come 😉

  5. Ross Kemp says:

    Look, just because he’s been to SF and likes Alan Cumming does not make him gay, alright. He’s a happily married man, got that! Put it another way, how many gay trainspotters do you know?
    Peter, can I come to the c & c party? Strictly as research for my next series of course.

  6. Greg Wallace says:

    Dont be shy Matt. Come along. You’ll get to do some EXCEPTIONAL cottaging. Cottaging doesnt get any BETTER than this. But when the spit roast is finished, ONE of you is going home….

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